The Knee

 After six plus weeks of intense physical therapy, there was not even a slight change in my knee.  So after lots of research, talking with surgeons and many many tears, I opted to go ahead with the surgery to fix my knee.

The long recovery process went from really longer, to really really long.

I had surgery on September 9th. 

I went in about noon, really nervous was an understatement.  The pre-op stuff went really fast.  They went over again what they would be doing.  The surgeon told Matt that the surgery would last approx 2-3 hours.  He explained that with knee surgery there is always a bit of a gray area and until they were in and could see the extent of things they can never say for sure.  He explained where the incisions would be, and a little about what he expected.  I donned that sexy hairnet, and kissed my husband and off I went.  Tears flowing.

It was a four hour surgery, so I am told, I was pretty out of it when I woke.  The replacement of my PCL posterior cruciate ligament was the most extensive part.  PCL injuries are not "fixable, the PCL must be replaced.  My PCL was removed and replaced with a "allograft" a ligament from a donor (cadaver part in my knee crazy cool and a little icky.)  The graft was connected to my body by drilling into my femur and tibia to attach the graft with screws.  My tissues grow and connect the graft tissue.  My MCL medial collateral ligament was also a complete rupture, unlike the PCL the MCL can be repaired.  My surgeon had explained that more than likely he would need to remove and use grafts from my hamstring to repair the MCL because of the amount of time that lapsed between injury and surgery, however, when inside, he was able to reconnect the tissues to themselves, saving me from yet another incision and another area to heal.  Bonus!  He also found that my meniscus was intact, another bonus!

After waking up, the pain was unbelievable.  Those that know me know that I have an extremely high tolerance to pain.  But WOW.  The pain was bad.  Due to the fact that my surgery was 4 hours long and that the recovery unit I was in closed at 7, an hour in recovery was not long enough for any one's comfort, so when they suggested staying the night in the hospital, there was no argument from me.  Pain medicine through an iv works a lot faster than waiting for a pill to dissolve in your system.

I went home Friday early Friday afternoon.  The car ride was awful, but we made it.

I am not able to put any weight on the leg at all.  I am not able to bend the leg at all.  If you have ever had to do either of those two things, you know how much it is almost impossible to do anything.  So the last 11 days of my life have been very restricted to the chair, elevated, wrapped in the "game ready" ice machine.  If you have never had to do that...you would be amazed how limiting it really is.

The first several days after surgery, not only was the knee is constant pain, even high as a kite on pain medication, but I was very sick to my stomach, vomiting is bad enough on a normal day, but when you add in having to crutch your way to the bathroom in a hurry and not to be able to bend over the potty, it's worse.  Just ask Matty, who was stuck cleaning up after me.  Yuck, awful.  I was able to get another medication for the nausea and that seems to be helping.  The puke bucket is still at my chair side though, at all times.

Showers are also a huge challenge.  The long and short of that...I've had three in 11 days.  I feel so damn pretty.  Not.  I do have to say my wonderful friend Tina came over and shaved my legs.  She is wonderful for so many reasons.

I have been doing well not bending or putting weight on it.  My body aches.  My entire body.  I hate sitting in a chair all day.  I hate not being able to take care of myself.  I hate not being able to care for my Beauties.  My home.  My normal day to day.  I'm not good at letting others do things.  

I meet with my surgeon in the morning.  I really hope the 34 staples in my knee will be removed, because they suck.  

I'm hanging in there.  There have been a lot of tears shed the last 11 days.  I have had a few pity parties.  A few why me moments, and lots of reminders from myself and from others that I will recover and be better than ever. I will hopefully begin my physical therapy this week.  My surgeon told me before the surgery that it will be a long recovery.  Very intense physical therapy and that I have a lot of hard work ahead.  Which I can handle knowing that I am a tough cookie and I will get through it.  Full recovery and back to normal activity level is between 6-9 months, sometimes even longer depending on each individuals body and limitations.  

So I promise myself to take one day at a time.  One day at a time is all I can do.

  

Photos are 6 days post surgery.  Two incisions, one very large and one small.  Lots of bruising ans swelling.

I am just sad.  I just want to skate.

It's a-bout time

Saturday is approaching quickly.  Cirque Du Slam is almost here.  I am always super excited during bout week.  Always.  I spend every spare second making sure last minute details are taken care of.  This week is the same in that I checking on everything, confirming times, menus, help and typing up vip lists.
But it is different for many reasons as well.  This will be Sugar's first bout from the sidelines.  Not on the track.  The first bout where I am not lacing up my skates.  Not pulling on stinky pads.  Not nervous for that first jam of the night.  The first night where I will be cheering my teammates on from the sidelines instead of communicating with them from inside the pack.
As I type this post, I fight back tears.  Tears that I have little control of these days.  Tears that I try to swallow during practices, watching my team/my friends skating, where I want to be too.  Where I am determined to be again.  Tears that come out of no where, and can last minutes or hours.  I know that as an athlete, especially in such a physically involved sport, that injuries occur.  They can happen at any moment.  In Derby you often hear "it's not IF you get hurt, it's WHEN."  I know that I am not the only one that has been on the sidelines due to an injury, but none the less, the cut still feels deep.  It burns and stings to know that I will not be skating for an indefinite length of time.
I have always been a skater that values my place on a roster, my place within the team.  I feel honored and achieved.  I feel like a part of something big.  Something great.  I have always gone in with the attitude that all of the skaters that make each and every roster, work their asses off (literally) to get there.  We practice hard, we prepare emotionally and we are team players.  I cherish that fact that I have been with this team since the beginning.  I feel honored and proud that I have skated in every bout with my sisters.  I look back on how far my abilities have come since that first practice in November of 2008.  When I was so nervous to fall down.  I kind of laugh at being so afraid in the beginning.  Comparing it now to my hard hits, the ability to absorb hard hits from other skaters and the amount of times I do fall and get my ass off the floor faster than I ever thought was possible.
That constant fear that my body is making decisions my heart doesn't agree with.  The what-ifs.  I know that I need to push those negative thoughts far out of my mind.  I know in my mind that injuries happen.  You recover, you heal, you push through it.  But in my heart there is a constant fear of what if I am not able to skate again?  Skate the way Sugar skates.  Competitive.  Hard.  I have found so much for "me"  in derby.  So many things that make me a better person, so many things that were missing for a long time.  A calming feeling within my own skin.  So much more confidence than I have ever had.  A place where I truly "fit in" and something that I love so much in heart, mind and soul.
I WILL be there, with my team, no matter what the outcome.  On the sidelines or on the track.  I will support them.  Saturday will be a tough day for Toxic Sugar, and I cannot promise to keep the tears in, although I promise to try.
KILL KILL KILL!  Beat those Sirens!  I know you will!
And for the record...I still intend on winning the after bout party...

Cook Kats

"Cirque Du Slam" Promo Video by the Amazing Left 4 Deadwards

Animal Mother...skater and writer!

 This is an article written by a fellow OCCRG skater, she is a great friend and a great writer!



'Roller Girls' have fun and give back to community

BY GUEST OPINION | JULY 28, 2010 7:20 AM

The Old Capitol City Roller Girls are Iowa City's first flat-track roller-derby team. We are a group of all kinds of women — mothers you see walking with a stroller, the smiling barista handing you your latte, the woman in the cubicle next to you at work — and we all play roller derby. We are a skater-owned, skater-run, skater-coached team, and our goal is to bring unique, family-friendly, exciting entertainment to the Iowa City area.

When we started our team in October 2008, we began recruiting as many women as we could. We have served chili suppers for charity, served Jell-O shots at IC Ugli's, and played games with kids at free skate events at the recreation center. A lot of what we do is aimed to give back to the community — and help create a good name for our team and the sport we love.

Our team is composed of women ages 21 to 50. Our skaters, referees, and support staff number us at a roster of 40 or so. We play on a flat track that is marked with ropes and tape, so we can play in just about any large venue. Right now, we are proud to call the Coralville Marriott our home. Roller-derby rules are governed by the Women's Flat Track Derby Association — similar to the NBA of roller derby. It's a fun sport — both to play and to watch.

A roller-derby bout is an event that anyone of any age and background can enjoy. There's a lot of thrills and hard hits and flashy moves that can keep crowds entertained. Strategy, penalties, and fancy footwork make the game appealing to cerebral crowds as well. The Old Capitol team is a formidable opponent for any of the nine other teams in Iowa, and we are growing and learning to become competitive with the other 700 leagues in the United States.

However, we also want to be sure to give back to those who have supported us so enthusiastically. At every home game (and we usually have one a month) we give a check to a charity affecting the community — some of our donations have gone to Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Emma Goldman Clinic, and the Johnson County Animal Shelter. We want Iowa City to see us not only as athletes but also as a community organization here for Iowa City that wants the best for the place that we live, work, and play.

Being a roller-derby skater is just like being any other kind of athlete. We practice hard, carbo-load before games, spend time bickering over which wheels or skates are superior, and spend time icing down sprains and bruises. Unlike other athletes, we get to show our personality putting together names, personas, and put on an event that combines showmanship with gritty athletics. Roller derby is a sport that allows everyone to showcase her personality and unique abilities. The thing that drew me to the sport was the fact that I could play it — competitively — even though my chosen form of exercise for the 17 years prior was ballet. The most important thing with playing derby is passion for the sport — something our team has in spades.

So come on down to the next bout — we love being able to entertain and delight the people of Iowa City and love participating in such an awesome sport in the community we love. Who knows? Maybe you'll be lacing up a pair of skates with us next year.

Quinn "Animal Mother" Dreasler
Old Capitol City Roller Girls

Next Up for OCCRG

Results

The complete MRI results were given to me today.
They SUCK...but...I will have surgery and I WILL recover.  I will survive.  I will SKATE.
MCL completely torn.  ACL almost completely torn.  PCL severe strain.
So begins the road to recovery.

Matty and the Beauties took Mommy to practice tonight. I needed to say hello and get a sniff of that "derby stank."  I told myself to take a deep breath, but, it was gonna happen.  the tears flowed.  Hugs were great.  (Sweaty hugs from Deadwards always rock!)  It's been a week and I am already missing my girls.  They have been taking good care of me and our tummies.  I we are taken care of.  The OCCRG ladies can cook!  Not to mention all of the verbal and emotionally support that comes with these women!  I LOVE YOU!
Big THANK YOUS!  It means the world to me to have such wonderful peeps in my life!

Derby Hurts

Ask a Derby Girl, she will tell you.  Derby hurts.  I've had my share of bruises.  Taken my share of bone shaking tumbles.  Taken "Derby-Profin" by the handful after a great bout or a tough practice.  I've done plenty of sweating tears.  But it's all in the sport.  Part of the "badge of honor" that we wear so proudly.  We do it because we love the sport.  We love the thrill, the game.
I took a nasty fall during practice last Wednesday.  A fall resulting in instant, horrifying pain.  Pain I have never felt before.  Pain that left my teammates surrounding my side, carefully removing my gear, telling me to take deep breaths, whispering.  I left practice in an ambulance.  In the ER, I was x-rayed, given good pain meds and examined.  The doctors said nothing was broken, but that I most likely dislocated my patella.  It was back in place, as much as it could be with the massive swelling to the area.  They told me with this type of injury to the patella, more worrisome would be the joints and ligaments that were injured along with it.  I was put in an immobilizer, given a script and given instruction to rest, ice and elevate to keep swelling at bay.  Most importantly to follow up with my doc.  I have been following orders.  Resting, icing and elevating.  All the while so worried about my compartment surgery scheduled for Thursday this week.  I saw my ortho doc today.  He examined (twisted, turned, pulled and pushed) on my knee and surrounding areas.  We talked, he ordered an MRI and then he broke the news.  My surgery (fasciotomy on both lower leg compartments) would be on hold.  (Yeah you know, the surgery I have been waiting months for.  The pain I have been ignoring and pushing through since practice 1 of Derby.)  I have no stability in the left knee, which, in turn would make recovery after the surgery "not run smoothly."  Basically, it will be painful enough and difficult enough to heal and move around with the surgery alone.  He was unwilling to add a surgery on top of the knee injury. 
I had an MRI today. 
Long story short, I tore the ACL.  Repair of the ACL...SURGERY.  I also messed up the MCL which can be healed with physical therapy.  But not the ACL...surgery.
I feel like I was hit with a ton of bricks right in the face.  I know that injury is a "part" of the sport.  But really, did it have to happen a week before my leg surgery?  Really?
The pain is controlled right now.  I'm following doc instructions.  Wearing a special brace.  Icing.  Elevating.  Keeping weight off it.  The thing is, it's not the pain.  It's the disappointment.  The fact that I am done for the season.  The fact that I am now facing not one but two surgeries with lengthy recovery periods.  The lump I feel, the tearful thought of not being able to skate for months now, instead of 6-8 weeks.  The helpless feeling of not being a playing part of this team, this team that I have been with since the beginning.  This team that I have put so much, blood, sweat, tears and time into.  It's the fact that this "thing" in my life, something I love doing, something that I am good at, has been ripped away.  It hurts.  It hurts a lot.  I know I'm not the only skater that has been injured, and I know that other injuries will occur.  But right now, it's a pity party and I am number one on the guest list.  I'm angry.  I'm sad.  I want to scream.  There have been a lot of tears shed, believe me.  I know in my brain that I will get through.  I will have the surgeries.  I will recover.  I will be better, be stronger.  But right now, it just hurts.

Countdown

The countdown is on to the 29th.  Sugar will be out of commission for 6-8 weeks.  Surgery on my lower leg compartments.  When I began Derby in October 2008, I started having severe cramping, swelling and pressure in my lower legs.  From the knee to the ankle and everywhere in between.  In the beginning it was only during practice and also on long stroller walks.  So, I would sit, stretch, massage and ice.  Over the past almost two years, I have been fighting, struggling, and trying to ignore the excruciating pain.  As my skill level has increased, so has the pain.  I began physical therapy about eight months ago.  Which helped relieve some of the pressure and tightness.  After two months of PT, my therapist mentioned compartment syndrome.  He told me (short version) what it was and to keep the thought in the back of my mind.  As the pain progressed, especially in the last five months, the amount of PT also increased, my endurance level decreased, and the amount of times during practice I had to sit and remove my skates became more and more frequent.  the pressure was so high that the tightness in my lower legs is crazy, there is no give at all when you push on the muscles in the sides of my legs.  Not to mention the bruising.  In May, he referred me to an orthopaedic surgeon.  I decided to have the stress test done (which was awful)  my resting pressure was more than twice the highest normal number resting and was diagnosed with compartment syndrome in both legs.  Only option for relief and cure...surgery.  PT wasn't working.  Not only is the pain during skating, but now every stroller walk, stairs, and just walking around in general.  The tension and pressure has become unbearable.  Surgery it will be.  they will make three 2-3 inch incisions in each leg, severing the membrane around the lower leg compartments.  Yep...gonna have some sweet scars.  This will allow the muscles to expand, releasing the pressure and fluid filling the compartments.  (If you are into pictures and google, check it out, the pictures are creepy.)
I will admit, I have a very high pain tolerance.  I tend to push myself to the limit, and this has been no exception to that.  I keep hearing Tyna tell me to sit down, and not do things that my body is telling me not to.  I hate feeling like I am quitting, like I am giving in to pain.  But, I am so ready to not fight my body.  I want to exceed my person goals, to succeed as a strong skater, to become a better athlete in general.  I love derby and cannot imagine my life without it.  I am really nervous.  The entire thing freaks me out.  Long term effects freak me out.  Losing function of my lower legs, circulation problems, blood clots to name a few.  Surgery is my option.  I am okay with it.  I know it will be more than difficult to be off skates for several months, but, the end result is what I need.  It will make me a better skater.  Hopefully I will be back up and running for our last two bouts of the season in October.  But I feel like there will be so much I am missing.  I know it will be worth it.  It will be worth it.  Look out...Here comes Sugar!