It's a-bout time

Saturday is approaching quickly.  Cirque Du Slam is almost here.  I am always super excited during bout week.  Always.  I spend every spare second making sure last minute details are taken care of.  This week is the same in that I checking on everything, confirming times, menus, help and typing up vip lists.
But it is different for many reasons as well.  This will be Sugar's first bout from the sidelines.  Not on the track.  The first bout where I am not lacing up my skates.  Not pulling on stinky pads.  Not nervous for that first jam of the night.  The first night where I will be cheering my teammates on from the sidelines instead of communicating with them from inside the pack.
As I type this post, I fight back tears.  Tears that I have little control of these days.  Tears that I try to swallow during practices, watching my team/my friends skating, where I want to be too.  Where I am determined to be again.  Tears that come out of no where, and can last minutes or hours.  I know that as an athlete, especially in such a physically involved sport, that injuries occur.  They can happen at any moment.  In Derby you often hear "it's not IF you get hurt, it's WHEN."  I know that I am not the only one that has been on the sidelines due to an injury, but none the less, the cut still feels deep.  It burns and stings to know that I will not be skating for an indefinite length of time.
I have always been a skater that values my place on a roster, my place within the team.  I feel honored and achieved.  I feel like a part of something big.  Something great.  I have always gone in with the attitude that all of the skaters that make each and every roster, work their asses off (literally) to get there.  We practice hard, we prepare emotionally and we are team players.  I cherish that fact that I have been with this team since the beginning.  I feel honored and proud that I have skated in every bout with my sisters.  I look back on how far my abilities have come since that first practice in November of 2008.  When I was so nervous to fall down.  I kind of laugh at being so afraid in the beginning.  Comparing it now to my hard hits, the ability to absorb hard hits from other skaters and the amount of times I do fall and get my ass off the floor faster than I ever thought was possible.
That constant fear that my body is making decisions my heart doesn't agree with.  The what-ifs.  I know that I need to push those negative thoughts far out of my mind.  I know in my mind that injuries happen.  You recover, you heal, you push through it.  But in my heart there is a constant fear of what if I am not able to skate again?  Skate the way Sugar skates.  Competitive.  Hard.  I have found so much for "me"  in derby.  So many things that make me a better person, so many things that were missing for a long time.  A calming feeling within my own skin.  So much more confidence than I have ever had.  A place where I truly "fit in" and something that I love so much in heart, mind and soul.
I WILL be there, with my team, no matter what the outcome.  On the sidelines or on the track.  I will support them.  Saturday will be a tough day for Toxic Sugar, and I cannot promise to keep the tears in, although I promise to try.
KILL KILL KILL!  Beat those Sirens!  I know you will!
And for the record...I still intend on winning the after bout party...

Countdown

The countdown is on to the 29th.  Sugar will be out of commission for 6-8 weeks.  Surgery on my lower leg compartments.  When I began Derby in October 2008, I started having severe cramping, swelling and pressure in my lower legs.  From the knee to the ankle and everywhere in between.  In the beginning it was only during practice and also on long stroller walks.  So, I would sit, stretch, massage and ice.  Over the past almost two years, I have been fighting, struggling, and trying to ignore the excruciating pain.  As my skill level has increased, so has the pain.  I began physical therapy about eight months ago.  Which helped relieve some of the pressure and tightness.  After two months of PT, my therapist mentioned compartment syndrome.  He told me (short version) what it was and to keep the thought in the back of my mind.  As the pain progressed, especially in the last five months, the amount of PT also increased, my endurance level decreased, and the amount of times during practice I had to sit and remove my skates became more and more frequent.  the pressure was so high that the tightness in my lower legs is crazy, there is no give at all when you push on the muscles in the sides of my legs.  Not to mention the bruising.  In May, he referred me to an orthopaedic surgeon.  I decided to have the stress test done (which was awful)  my resting pressure was more than twice the highest normal number resting and was diagnosed with compartment syndrome in both legs.  Only option for relief and cure...surgery.  PT wasn't working.  Not only is the pain during skating, but now every stroller walk, stairs, and just walking around in general.  The tension and pressure has become unbearable.  Surgery it will be.  they will make three 2-3 inch incisions in each leg, severing the membrane around the lower leg compartments.  Yep...gonna have some sweet scars.  This will allow the muscles to expand, releasing the pressure and fluid filling the compartments.  (If you are into pictures and google, check it out, the pictures are creepy.)
I will admit, I have a very high pain tolerance.  I tend to push myself to the limit, and this has been no exception to that.  I keep hearing Tyna tell me to sit down, and not do things that my body is telling me not to.  I hate feeling like I am quitting, like I am giving in to pain.  But, I am so ready to not fight my body.  I want to exceed my person goals, to succeed as a strong skater, to become a better athlete in general.  I love derby and cannot imagine my life without it.  I am really nervous.  The entire thing freaks me out.  Long term effects freak me out.  Losing function of my lower legs, circulation problems, blood clots to name a few.  Surgery is my option.  I am okay with it.  I know it will be more than difficult to be off skates for several months, but, the end result is what I need.  It will make me a better skater.  Hopefully I will be back up and running for our last two bouts of the season in October.  But I feel like there will be so much I am missing.  I know it will be worth it.  It will be worth it.  Look out...Here comes Sugar!

Scars and Stripes Forever

Red White (black) and Blue...A night filled with fun packed Derby Action.  OCCRG teamed up with QCR and divided the skaters into two "mixed" teams.  Part OCCRG part QCR.  I skated alongside the Belles.  It was a fantastic night, a little less competitive than usual, but still carried the desire to play hard and have fun.  That's what OCCRG does best.  The Belles were made up of a strong group of skaters, Benzo Bang, OFX, and Trip to name a few from OCCRG.  Also Mexican Monster, Lady Gotcha, El Efino and Ida Stroyder from QCR.  We were pitted against some of our best skating partners, Zom B and of course Deadwards.  The Belles pulled off the win.  Deadwards and I seemed to be on each other's game, it was fun.  In the end, I always skate better with a full roster of OCCRG skaters.  We know each other, we play together, we should, right?  We had a pretty good crowd considering it's the middle of summer and CRRG also had a bout that night.  We are building an incredible fan base, which feels amazing.  We are growing as a team of skaters, but also from the business aspect as well.  the beauties were there cheering loud for Momma (and their favorite skaters...ahem Zom B and Deadwards.)  My Dad was quite proud that I was not sent to the penalty box, not even once.  He thinks the penalty box is funny.
Once again, the after party was also a HUGE win for OCCRG.  Great times had by all.  I hear there may even be some video floating around, by not viewable to the public eye.  Heehee.  Happy hangovers to many of us on Sunday!  I LOVE DERBY! 

Malice in Derbyland

OCCRG hosted our second bout of the season on the 3rd.  We took on the Des Moines Derby Dames.  It was "Malice in Derbyland."  Lots of had hits and stategy.  Oh and of course Tough Ladies.

We rocked the house and brought home a win for our loyal fans!  It was a great bout and a great after party.

Our next home date is May 8th.  We take on the Cedar Rapids Rollers in "Better to get Knocked Down than Knocked up" avoid the Stork!

Sugar can Fly

Work is going very well. I have things down pretty well and have even started working a bit form home.
This week was a busy one. But, on Wednesday I had an opportunity to do something really out of my comfort zone. I mean really out. I arrived at work and shortly after Bob (my boss) said, how about we take a break today and do something fun? How about we go flying? What? Flying? Are you serious? He was in fact very serious. We headed out the the Green Castle Flying Club. It was a two seat Cessna (ahem...puddle jumper.) Bob prepared the plane and we "boarded." This is where I became VERY nervous. But what is life if you don't live it, right? All I could think of the entire time we were approaching the runway was I have four children and a husband that need me, please let me land safely on the ground. Off we went...into the air...amazing. Everything looked so peaceful and serene from above. It really made me take my mind off everything else for a bit, which was really needed this week.
We flew for a little over an hour, just tooling around looking at different places, the mall, Chloe's school, even our house. Bob even tried to get me to fly the plane, I told him I was not qualified and that flying was not in my job description, and that I would leave the flying up to the pilot.
It was an amazing experience and I am so glad that I did it. Thanks, Bob!

Four Leaf Clobber

Mark the calendar! It's time to get down to Derby. The Old Capitol City Roller Girls season opener...

The Four Leaf Clobber
Saturday March 13th.
Marriott Hotel and Convention Center
doors open at 6:15 Bout time 7:00.

If you are interested in tickets, please let me know. Pre-bout are $10 or $12 at the door.

OCCRG will be taking on the Flying Squirrels of Appleton WI.
It will be a great night of derby action.