Not very Sleepy

It is 1:30 am and I am awake. I am just not sleepy. I updated Little Beauties. I played Word Challenge on Facebook (crackbook I like to call it.) I watched some reality TV reruns. (Another addiction.) I washed my face...twice. I ate some popcorn. I did a couple loads of laundry. Caught up on reading my favorite blogs. Checked on the Beauties (fast asleep.) I unplugged the Christmas tree lights. I checked the doors...twice. Checked on the Beauties again (still fast asleep.) I am just not sleepy. I NEVER have a problem sleeping. But tonight...I guess I do. Hope you all are snoozing the night away.

Yay Me

We are well in the middle of week two of colds and sniffles and ear infections around here. Yuck! The triplets have had colds, leading to ear infections, leading to sleepless nights. I never gave myself much credit when the Littlest Beauties were infants. Credit for all I really accomplished in daily life going on such teensie tiny amounts of sleep. I am talking for the first 6 months or so I averaged about 2 1/2 hours a night. Then for the next 10 months after that I averaged about 4 hours a night, sometimes less. They lack of sleep lasted through breastfeeding which was weened at 16 months. Then they began sleeping through the night. Little stinkers just wanted to snuggle with Mommy all night. They have been doing great, except when they are not feeling well of course. So needless to say the last 2 weeks, Mommy is sleep deprived again. Seriously, I DO NOT know how I did it for 16 months! I don't know if I could do it again. I am so tired! So I have to remind myself today...Yay me...You go girl!

I want a new Mommy!

I knew I would hear those words someday. However, I didn't think I would hear them when Chloe was only four. This morning began in the wee morning hours while I was up with Jocelyn. She didn't feel like sleeping last night. Maybe she misses her Daddy. Maybe she just needed some extra cuddle time. Big Sis was less than thrilled about it. She is still not sleeping in her own bed. Her nighttime resting place is in our bed. I wish there was an easy solution to this problem. The sleeping with us began, as many of you know, when she was a baby. We were doing pretty well there for a while, getting her to at least go to bed at night in her bed. (Us laying down with her of course.) She would stay in bed for a few hours and then come downstairs to crawl in bed with us. It seems lately that we cannot even get her to stay in her bed for a short time. It also seems that even when she sleeps with us,she senses immediately when we exit the bed and leave the room. As soon as we leave the room, she wakes and starts to cry. She says she is scared. We have resorted to taking her to bed with us every night. I know this is a bad habit. A bad habit that we cannot seem to break. We have tried SO MANY things to break the cycle. Ticket game, prizes, flat out bribery. It will not work with her. This morning she freaked at about 5 am, when I went to pick up sobbing Jocelyn. After getting her calm and placing her back in her bed, Chloe literally clung to me for the next three hours. Saying she was afraid I was going to leave her alone again. The morning spiraled from there. Silvie had a doctors appointment this morning in reference to her hair falling out. (The doctor said that it seemed to be nothing to worry about, the hair is already beginning new growth. It seems she is pulling it out herself. She said that this can happen in some kids.) When Silvie and I arrived back home, Chloe began where we left off...crying and upset about anything and everything. After lunch (which she refused to eat) it was time to get ready for her to go to school. The words followed me asking her and then telling her to go brush her teeth. (This is a yet another battle. She hates brushing her teeth and will not do it alone.) After I firmly instructed teeth brushing, and told her she could not go to school without brushing them, she replied with, and I quote, "I want a new Mommy! You are a mean Mommy!" My come back was "I still love you and it makes me sad that you want a new Mommy." She then began crying, sobbing rather and said she was sorry for being a bad kid. I gave her a hug and told her that she is not a bad kid, and that I love her no matter what. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it. I am not sure what I am doing wrong,what I can do differently. I wish some lightning bolt would strike and the answer would come to me. I want her to be secure, to be confident. What point do I become concerned that she maybe too sensitive? Why is she scared of being in another room without me? Our home is a comfortable one. Small and cozy. I can hear what is going on in any room no matter where in the house I am. How do you explain that to a four year old? We arrived at school, she was excited to see her friends and play. After I returned to the van, I cried. All the way home I cried. I love her with my entire being. It makes me ache that something is bothering her and I cannot figure out how to fix it.