Thoughts from Sugar

When I stop and look into my life from the outside world, it makes me smile.
I am truly amazing by all that I have accomplished.  My husband, the rock who supports me so unconditionally.  The one who loves me and pushes me when I need it.  Takes my hand and pulls it close when I need to slow down.  My hero.  Our Beauties.  Four incredible little girls.  Each special and unique in her own way.  Each watching every move their Mommy makes.  Each looking for approval, guidance and love.  Each learning the ways of the world every minute.  I am so proud to be their Mommy.  I hope that one day when I am old and gray they look at me and know I would do ANYTHING for their happiness.  My parents, who have molded me, taught me and supported me even if they didn't always agree with the decisions that I made.  For always being there to lend a hand, sometimes both hands.  Helping so much in the last few years especially.  My mother in law Valerie for also helping so much and molding her son into everything that he is.  My bestie, Molly.  She is an amazing woman.  I love her more everyday.  I look up to her for strength.  I look of all that she has been through and I am so proud of our friendship.  Roller Derby.  I went from an out of shape gal, with four small children, shy and very insecure in my skin, and transformed into someone who is beginning to really like herself.  The team that I play with is an amazing group of women.  Each so different, yet all looking for something more in life.  If you are not familiar with the sport, you should learn about it.  It has changed my life and helped me find something within myself that I think has always been missing.  I know that if you don't play, you may not understand entirely what I mean, but it is a true driving force to belong and to succeed in something so much greater than what it appears to be on the outside.  The women that I skate with, have become like a second family to me, my sisters.  We count on each other.  We work together.  We play together.  We have welcomed each other into our twisted crazy worlds.
Over the last six years, since becoming a Mommy, I feel like I have changed so much.  Which is good.  The change from being childless with minimal responsibilities to a Mom of four daughters with arms full of responsibilities.  I stopped working outside of the house.  I lost contact with much of the reality going on everyday around me.  Which is also okay, to a point...
It was almost two years ago (in October) that I stumbled into something.  Something in it's baby stage.  Tiny baby stage.  A Roller Derby team.  I have helped build and structure and watched this tiny team grow to over fifty women strong.  If I was forced to put the experiences I have had with this team, growing into my place on this team...Roller Derby Saved my Soul.  It continues to save me each and every single day.