Toxic Butterflies

Tonight is the night! Old Capitol City Roller Girls vs. Quad Cities Roller Girls! Holy cow...our very first Derby bout.

I am so nervous. I am excited too. But wow, the butterflies are kicking my tail right now.

We are ready. Strong, well trained and prepared. Our team is such a strong group of women. The QC team is more seasoned then us. They also are a fantastic group of women! I look forward to playing the track with them!

We have bouts the next three weekends. What a way to break the seal on a new team huh? We will do fabulous, I feel it. If you are in the Davenport area and want to come and check us out...please do! We are playing at the RiverCenter at 7pm. Make sure you yell super loud for Toxic Sugar!

Poor Decision

Do you ever think and think and think about something. Weigh out all the pros and the cons and then make the decision, only to find out, the hard way, that you have made the wrong one?
Well...we made the wrong one. A huge wrong one. Duke is a great puppy...he really is. However, the last week has been horrible at our house. A Disaster.
The littlest Beauties are not adjusting to him at all. They are scared to death of him still after a week. They cry and run to me every time he even looks in their direction. They cry no puppy every morning and all day long. We are trying everything to try to make it work, but I fear that it is not going to. I am so overwhelmed I want to cry. Well okay I have cried a lot actually. I am so angry with myself.
We called the breeder and asked if we could bring him back, of course he said no. I am at a loss. I put an ad on craigslist. I am in tears. I feel so stupid. I feel defeated and most of all I feel like a bad Mommy for making the decision that Matt and I made, thinking it was time for a dog in the house. I pray that we find a good home for him.

Addition

I must be crazy.
Stinky and I are discussing a new addition...a dog...you crazy peeps...no more babies!
We have been talking about it off and on for a while. Then we decide nah, not yet. He approached me yesterday with the question again. Seems he has been actively looking. He found a breeder that has a Mastiff puppy. Ten weeks I think. A female. He is VERY interested in her. Mastiff are lazy dogs, very lazy. Which is great for us. However they grow rather large. About 150lbs.
On the pro side...I do miss having a dog in the house. Makes me feel more safe when Matt is away. I know Chloe really wants one! I mean REALLY REALLY wants one. The triplets are very curious too. They love watching dogs outside or at the pet store. On the cons side...one more thing for me to do. Matt assured me he would clean the poop and gross things such as that. (Which was my biggest concern.)
I am so torn. I know he really wants a dog. More than Chloe probably.
hmmmm.
We are going to visit the breeder tomorrow. I guess we will see what happens.
Any thoughts?

Calgon...are you there?

Today may be one of those days...let me see...yep. It is.
Matt left for the week late night after work. We miss him already.
The Beauties (all four) woke in terrible moods this morning. They have fought, bit, hit, pulled hair, stolen toys and cried most of the day.
I finally got them down for a nap and the doorbell rang...For those of you that have been to our home...you know about the sign posted over the doorbell..."Please DO NOT ring the doorbell. Thanks." Yea...well obviously the MidAmerican guy cannot read. Because the &$%hole rang it. I sprinted to the door, hoping to catch him before he rand it again. I was in full glare as I opened the door, checking of course to see if the sign was still there, and yes it was. He proceeded t tell me he needed to replace the water meter on the back of the house. I asked if it would be a loud/noisy replacement, as I had three grumpy two year olds napping. He assured me it would not be loud. Midway through his job...I hear a loud and annoying hammering coming from his location. I went out and said, "I thought you assured me this would not be noisy?" He replied, "You think this is noisy?" I tried to hide my furry..."Well it is when you have three grumpy two year olds trying to go back to sleep, after some dude rang the doorbell and is now hammering right outside their bedroom window." Like I said...#&*hole.
The afternoon is continuing like the morning...
Grammy Pam is coming to take Chloe to Molli's softball game...the triplets will be in bed early...like maybe five. Is that too early?

Sugar likes it

Our OCCRG open house was a HUGE success! We added eight new skaters! Whoo-hoot. Some of them even have some skating experience. Added Whoo-hoot. Welcome Ladies! My BFF and her family came to check it out, and my MIL came and brought the BEAUTIES to see Mommy skate. They loved it of course. "Mommy skate, Mommy skate." Things are going great. We have three away bouts scheduled in June. If you are in Davenport or Cedar Rapids...let me know...love to have some readers come and check out our first official bouts! We are doing an expo bout in Davenport on June 19th. It's a mini Sturgis-type gathering. Should be a lot of fun! The bout in CR is a flood relief benefit. So wonderful to do something for the community. New leadership is getting things moving. Which is good. Hopefully things stay on positive track. I keep reminding myself that when you have that many strong-willed women together, there is bond to be some drama every once and again...but that said...I hate drama...let's just get our skate on! I ordered some new knee pads...187's for all you roller gal readers. They ROCK! So much more padding. My foot is still killing me and my legs are achin, but I went back to PT and they seemed better at practice last night. Also I special ordered some custom orthotics (expensive doo-dads) hopefully they make an incredibly HUGE difference. Time will tell. Have I mentioned I LOVE DERBY...cuz...I do!

Mommies

Mommies make the world go around. We give love. We give Hugs. We wipe noses. We Kiss boo-boos. We tuck in. We play. We kill bugs. We fold clothing. We walk to the park. We take to dance. We sing, sometimes off key. We smile. We make everything better. We give advise. We listen. We share. We go without. We laugh at jokes we have hear a million times. We sing to Miley. We watch the Disney channel, and Sponge Bob. We snuggle like pros. We clean up puke. We clean up caca. We watch of babies grow. We cry. We get frustrated. We love our husbands. We are friends. We say cover your mouth. We give time-outs. We read bedtime stories. We play dress up. We pick up toys. We cook. We clean. We watch dance recitals. We feel sad when our children our sad. We feel on top of the world when our kids are happy. We worry. We cheer. We teach. We learn. We sing silly songs to make little ones laugh. We give baths. We brush teeth. We administer health care. We rock. We pick up messes. We glow. We are proud. We are strong. We are weak. We are vulnerable. We change diapers. We potty train. We wonder what tomorrow may bring. We remain positive in difficult situations. We go when we are tired. We give kisses. We scare away monsters. We play house. We give underdogs. We clean sand out of little toes. We push strollers. We pull wagons. We say no. We giggle. We hope. We pray. We are humble. We brag. We wish on stars. We support. We Love...unconditionally. We cannot imagine life before becoming a Mommy. We think about all of the wonderful things are children behold. We pray we are teaching our babies to be wonderful people. We pray for their health and happiness. We are Mommies. We make the world go around. we wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderfully fabulous Mommies I know.

"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."

too young

I am not naive. I am not a prude.
I was just outside picking up some toys we left out earlier and I overhead the neighbor kids in the backyard. I am not positive, but I think they are 5th graders...maybe 6th grade. They were sitting in their backyard, which bumps up to ours, talking and playing the game good old truth or dare. I spied for a few minutes...is that bad? Wrong? Not sure, don't care if it is I guess. They were daring each other to kiss, talking about masturbating and sex. WHAT? They are kids. Young kids. Much too young to be talking and doing things like they were doing and talking about doing. Where the hell are the parents? When I was that age I didn't have a clue what sex or masturbation was...seriously...wtf? I almost walked over and said something. I held back and didn't. But it makes me worry. What is going on with the world around us?

My Chloe girl

My Little Chloe girl is a sensitive child. She notices feelings. She is a nurturer. She is caring and loving and sweet. I love her more than I can express in words.
Last night she went to sleep with Grandma, while I was at Derby practice. Which is unusual. She normally makes herself stay awake until I get home, or falls asleep on the couch or in the chair with Grandma, if Daddy isn't home. She continued to stay asleep in her bed after Grandma got out of bed, which again...unusual. At 2:00 am I heard screaming from upstairs. Terror in her voice as she was in her sisters' room telling them she didn't know where Mommy was. I ran lightning quick to her. She was afraid, the triplets were afraid. It took me about thirty minutes to get them all calmed down and laying back in their beds. I took Chloe downstairs with me. She continued to sob. I told her to tell me where she thought I was. All she said was I just don't want to be by myself. I feel horrible.
We have been working with her to be more independent. To try to do normal tasks on her own. Things like brushing her teeth, going potty, getting things from her room. She is horrified to be alone. She always wants Mommy, Daddy, even one of her baby sisters to accompany her. She refuses to sleep alone. She wakes if Matt or I exit the bed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Which is obviously interrupting her slumber...the rest she needs.
The last several school days have been extremely rocky at drop off. She cries and says she wants to be at home. She doesn't want to go to school. She gets so upset that she literally cannot breath. I called her teacher last week and expressed my concerns. Chloe had shared that there are three little girls not sharing and not being nice. I also talked with her teacher about this. They had an entire school "talk" and role played about feelings and being friends. I thought that was great. Chloe was fine on Tuesday when she went. Smiles and all. Today however, she was so upset again that I questioned taking her at all for the rest of the year. When we arrived at school she walked in, put her "pack pack" away and then walked up to where I was signing her in and just melted down. She was so upset I could hardly understand her. She cried for her Daddy. Just kept repeating she misses her Daddy. I felt so bad. I picked her up and hugged her and then her teacher came over and asked her is she wanted to go outside with her to play. Chloe agreed and went to her. I called the school when I arrived back home to see how she was doing. Talked to her teacher who told me that she seemed fine and that she was swinging with her bestie Maria. I feel better, I guess. I promised her I would have Daddy pick her up from school.
My heart hurts. Matt works so hard to take care of all of us. Her works a minimum of 60 hours a week, many weeks more. He wants his family to be taken care of. He feels badly that he is away. I know he misses the Beauties so much it hurts. Which is why he went to nights. He sees them more. I wish I could explain it to Chloe, but I know she is too little to fully understand.
I am at a point where I don't know if I need to go and talk with her pediatrician about things. She seems to have some definite separation issues and is scared to be alone. I know the last couple years she has had a lot to adjust to. Mommy being in the hospital for 9 weeks, Mommy being in the hospital for 4 weeks with her sisters, having not one but 3 baby siblings come home....so much for a little girl to handle. We spend alone time with her as much as we possibly can. We take her and do "big girl" things with her. We have Chloe and Mommy time and Chloe and Daddy time. I just want what is best for her. Has anyone every experienced anything like this? I need suggestions, advice. I just feel like I am failing her somehow.

My aching bones

Is it my bones? Is it my muscles? Both? Why am I so tired? Am I too young for arthritis? What is going on? I have noticed over the past year or so, that my body hurts...a lot. It is not since I began Derby, it was long before that. I take otc Ibuprofen...doesn't help. I have been seeing a foot doc, and have a bone spur in my left foot. Explains the foot pain...but not the leg pain/ache. I am heavier than I would like to be, than I should be. I am working on that, or should I say struggling with it. However, it is difficult to exercise everyday when your body already hurts. It is really frustrating. To say the least. What to do? I hate complaining...but I am complaining...

Get your Derby on

Derby Derby I love Roller Derby
Things are back on track again...I think the team is back on it's way to being a success. We have two bouts scheduled in June. I am so excited!
We have some change in leadership. I think it will be a good change. Although...I do miss certain peeps. I hope they can get things back on track.
I am sore...and loving it! We have been practicing hardcore. Lots of new drills to build endurance and stamina. Lots of strategy training. Oh and did I mention lots of core training? Well, now I have. It's been great. Pain is gain they say, right?
We are having an open house at practice tomorrow night. We have invited tons of peeps and handed out fliers. We are recruiting skaters, refs and of course fans. Hope it is a big success and we have lots of potential stop by and check us out.
I am excited that my BFF is coming and my SIL too.
Sugar and Spice and Bruises on ice..that's what derby girls are made of.