what not to wear

i can't sleep. not tired. i am watching the boob tube. i have decided i really really really want to be on tlc's what not to wear. i would gladly throw away all of my clothes for 5 grand in brand new ones. i would love a stylist to show me what works for me and what does not. i admit that my style of dress is lacking in a major way. i admit i need a little help figuring it out. i admit i need a makeover. clothing, hair and makeup. why are these gals always crying. i would be smiling ear to ear. you can nominate me if you want. i will let you