understand

There are a lot of things in life that I don't understand.
war, death of children, cancer, the government, aids, sids, poverty...to name a few.
I try to put a grasp on these things...but I am at a loss.
I do trust in my faith. I believe in God. I know and believe that he has a greater plan. One that we are not meant to understand. But...still I find myself confused in the plan sometimes.
I look at my life and think about all of the mistakes I have made. How horrible I was to my parents, especially my mom as a teenager. Poor choices I made in college. I think about the things that I have been through. I look at my husband, my Beauties. Our life. How blessed I am, we are. To be happy, healthy, have a roof over our heads, food to eat, to be able to pay the bills (mostly on time). Then I start to worry. Is the bottom going to drop out? I know that sounds kinda stupid. Don't get me wrong. I try to live everyday to it's potential. I try not to sweat the small stuff. But...I can't help to think about it. I pray, I thank God everyday for what I have been given. The life that I have. I am blessed.